You should probably look for help from people who want to give it to you--forcing someone will make it uncomfortable for everyone involved. Remember--being a bridesmaid is really just about spending lots of money on a dress you probably won't wear again and standing up next to a friend while they get married. Let her do as much or as little as she can or feels able to do...Brides can feel all-important, and it's easy to forget that everyone else has their own lives too.