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Why do we feel pain when we hear others discussing us?
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Unfortunately its when we buy into the idea that their opinion really matters. I've found the best defense it to increase my self-esteem and to realize the only people I really need to please is myself and my creator. It's a hard one, but as I get older, I'm getting better at it. There is ALWAYS someone that will have something to say about you.
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because there not true friends to you.
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Because we have a social or public image we usually display. When we have that sudden realization that such an image or identity *can* be criticized, often in ways we cannot control - we suddenly realize faults. These are not imagined faults since people are literally saying it, causing a feeling akin to a breaking of trust (social trust), or invasion of privacy (spatial trust). We often don't take the moment to step back and realize that criticism should be taken constructively, even when it is surprising to us or even hurtful. Constructively can also mean simply throwing it out and forgetting about it. But since we, here in America, seem to value our identity so highly, we don't always enjoy the gossip discovery moment. This is all of course assuming that the gossip in question is legitimate. The next question would be: how to decide what is legitimate gossip?
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because often its people we know and like and you think they liked you as a friend too, only then you realise they don't. When they do gossip about you it isn't always about something nice so it hurts
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because we're better than that.
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Hurt? No! We feel flattered to see our importance of being talked about. Oscar Wild has rightly observed, 'The worse thing than being gossipped about is NOT being gossipped about!' or to that effct. HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
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I dont spend my time caring about what people gossip about. There is a saying: great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about events, small minds talk about people. . . The question is what kind of mind do you have or aspire to have?
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