Being a gay is not a crime. When the society is still in non-accepting mood, you are forced to keep your feelings secret. But your attitude and behaviour can't be hidden. However I want to suggest you to divert your mind towards other avenues of life. First of all stop thinking that you are a gay. Start doing yoga exercises and pranayama methodically. Read books on philosophy and spiritualism. Keep the mind away from the feelings that you are a gay since you are not a gay. Develop a positive attitude. By following this method, a friend of mine is normal now enjoying married life with two children, Gayness is a boon derived from the abnormal attitudes that developed from the adolescent period. It is not a disease but a disorder. The disorder can be brought to orderliness if efforts are made with real zeal and sincerity. Good luck!