This must be very difficult to accept. I don't know you but I feel the sting even as I sit scripting my response. Your husband took a vow when you and he were married, as did you; I am assuming. This vow reflects well on both of you as you maintain it. It's part of who you are now, and it then must be a part of him. You honour each other in this, it is one of the truly great expressions of love that only couples can share. Should your husband recant on the vow that he took upon the deathbed of the deceased then this would lessen him, in his own eyes; and if you consider it possibly in yours. The thin edge of the wedge opens even the strongest armor. I live with much that I will not burden you with in this time of your distress. I will share a thought however, as this is no question another can advise upon. What can not be changed must be endured, if you want peace; you must accept what is. If you can overlook the faults of another as they offend you, you no longer feel offended; then you are free of a debt you do not owe. This is hard, I have done it; but it's not a quick fix. Time washes the hurt out of all things if this is applied, it is universal to us all; but it is not easy. My best wishes for your deliverance of a difficult circumstance fly to you, I hope you can deliver yourself from this state.