Question

How can I effectively deal with people who always take advantage of my good nature?

Answer 1

I think if you only do good for everyone else, you end up attracting more of the people that take advantage of you. The key has got to be in balancing good for YOU and good for OTHERS. Its hard to make everyone else happy if you're miserable...

Answer 2

I dont think it is necessary to get rid of those who take advantage of your doing good.You are not doing good to impress anybody, you are doing good because it is good to do good.

Answer 3

Karma. They will get theirs, you will reap what you sow. You will get what you have coming. Be patient. It's not what you have or don't have, it's how you play the game. You can be very "good" and still successful. There is a concept called drala, fostered by awareness, gentleness, and appreciation. It is repelled by speed, chaos, and carelessness. Drala basically means good luck. Email me if U want more on this.

Answer 4

Boundaries. It is important to know when doing good for others would cripple them or make them dependent on others. Ask yourself, is this something that this person would feel good about themselves if they would do this for themselves? If they are unable to do for themselves, it is the right thing to do it for them. But if they need to start learning to do for themselves, then your "no", thus setting a boundary, could help them to realize they need to do it for themselves.

Answer 5

In general:. You don't have to have a good reason to say no, if you want to say no to someone or something just say "no" and if they ask why....Say " because I don't feel comfortable with that" Any excuse just sets you up for an argument where someone tries to talk you into something.. If someone makes a request and you are trying to think up a good reason to say no then the answer is no.. when anyone responds with "yes but..." what they are really saying is no...don't waste your breath after that.. If you think someone is lying they probably are, if you think something is wrong it probably is, if you have to do a reality check they something is telling things are hinky somewhere. In short trust your instincts to tell you what is what. You head will lie but your gut won't.. And TA DA.... The magic word is " NEVER-THE-LESS" because it sucks up arguments and works on every one! regardless and whatever works too.. In my profession I work with lots of cons and manipulators and my BS detector has to be finely tuned to keep me safe. I work in a job where I try to help people in a hole change their life for the better but it is not easy. In the end it their job to make the changes I just point out the obvious. Don't loose the part of you that believes change is possible and you can be an agent of change but don't be a doormat either. Take care of your self.

Answer 6

Say no to them. Say no to whatever that there are trying to take advantage of. Once you learn how to say a firm no and get them to stop, you will find it easier to get what you want instead of what they want.. . Be polite but firm. Coz they will eventually see you are no pushovers.

Answer 7

You get frustrated at some point at people taking advantage of you and yell at them and they stop asking for favors.

Answer 8

You can do what is RIGHT where others are concerned without being an ENABLER for their weaknesses. You CAN say no and still be a good person doing good. If a friend for example figures out that she can use you as a convenient "drop off" for impromptu babysitting and she starts asking you WAY more than you feel comfortable with, but you want to do what is the "good" thing, ask yourself if you are enabling her to do something that is not "right". In that situation you are clearly not doing a "good" thing for yourself or her. Don't let guilt make you a sap. That is not a "good" thing either.